I went out last night with Carolyn--which always proves to be a raucous good time. Add her crazy cohorts to the mix and you get a joyous chaos that leaves you eating skillet-grilled ham and someone else's macaroni and cheese at 4:30 am.
Emily is my new best friend. Here she is circa 1992(??) She's the one to the right of Mary Poppins with the unfortunate bowl cut and wearing a solar t-shirt. Clearly I am in love with her because, much like me, she was a fat kid who I'm sure with that haircut was mistaken for the opposite sex on multiple occasions. Now people only mistake her for a lesbian. Much improved. (I was trying to add one of the numerous lesbianic pictures that I have of Emily at my disposal...But blogger isn't being my friend and letting me do it right now.)
Dom shat himself in the womb and was born covered in poop. Fortunately he lived to tell about it. UNfortunately, I don't have a picture of it. Today is his birthday, so he used that as an excuse to make demands on people. He may be a little upset that this entire blog entry is not about him but he can deal. He also learned that he was gay when Emily gave him this very prideful rainbow bracelet.
This is Melissa. She kept walking away in order to, as she put it, "poot." She blamed her over active gas on the vegetarian/vegan diet she kept and the fact that she hadn't eaten all day. I blame it on her overactive gas problem. To her credit, we were drinking $2 pints of piss-water (Bud Light)--that'll keep anyone pooting all night.
And finally here we have Carolyn who pretty much just laughed her full-body cackle at the events of the entire evening. This may have been after Emily drunk dialed Dom's mother at 3:30 to "Thank her for conceiving and giving birth to Dom." Or maybe it was right after we over heard the bartender saying "nah, its been pretty quiet all night, except for these drunk hags..."All in all it was a shamelessly fun night. And thus concludes the blog entry I was coerced into writing about my new friends. What kind of world do we live in where in order to make and maintain friends you have to blog about them. Maybe Carolyn is right. Maybe blog IS the new reality.....
3 comments:
you will come to kareoke tonight
I just looked at the picture of myself laughing and it made me laugh equally as hard because I look so hilarious when I'm laughing. now im thinking about how i must look right now while laughing and laughing again.
blog is the new reality BEOTCH!!!
PS; I'm such a drunk fag hag.
PPS: Dom was in fact covered in his own shit when he was born but you forgot to mention that his mom had to stand on her head in order to deliver him for some reason and that emily's phone call thanking his mother specifically mentioned all of these events. and that it was the SECOND exact same phone call she's made to dom's mom over the course of 2 days. THATS why I was laughing so hard LOLOLOL
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