Endorsements

As Founder, Board of Director and Insatiable Ruler of umm...i didn't know i was starting a blog, I understand the importance and power of my endorsements. I do not take this responsibility lightly and choose to endorse/not endorse something based on cold hard facts, unwavering likability and with the utmost respect. Read on, dear reader, and embrace the splendor of my endorsements.

1. The Secret
Yes, this is the crazy, cultish phenomenon that's sweeping the nation after Oprah gave it her kind-of-tire touch. It basically says that if you think positively, take stock of the things you are grateful for and visualize how you want your life to be you can control the universe and make it all become a reality. Yes, that is right, you can control the U-NI-VERSE. Sounds like some hippy-dippy hoo-ha, right? Well that may be so, but really what is so bad about everyone becoming more positive? There's no harm; it can make you more content, grounded, and fulfilled. It's sort of nice. And plus, who doesn't like to be in on a secret?!



2. At Least It's Pink
This is a hilarious show playing at Ars Nova until April 1st, so see it NOW. The crass, raunchy humor will have you laughing from the first sex-with-fat lady joke to the last abortion song. Innovative and clever lyrics bring this mock-cabaret to a hilarity of inappropriate proportions.

The show plays at Ars Nova and you can get tickets from Smartix.com - 212-868-4444.

If you mention this blog you will get a 50% discount on your tickets!!!

Okay, not really, but you should mention this blog anyway cuz that would be fun.



3. Guacamole

I love dip, all sorts of dip, but guacamole is by far the best dip that there is. If you thought hummus was good, LOOK OUT! I'm sure you have had guacamole before, most people have, but no one ever really takes the time to point out its brilliance. Guacamole goes under appreciated every day and this blog will put an end to that. Now I have had some kinds of guac that are too avocado-y, this is no good. The perfect guac will have onions, tomatoes, corn, beans and other accouterments of deliciousness. Does anyone have a good guac recipe? I have never made it, and I think its high time I put an end to that. Who wants to come to a Guacamole party?! anyone?!? I'm in heaven just thinking about it.

4. Arcade Fire's new album, Neon Bible

I have not listened to this album in depth but I am confident enough to add it to my list of endorsements. I am not musically qualified to give an appropriate review of their sophomore album, but its fucking great and you should buy it. They performed on SNL this season and used bullhorns. BULLHORNS, PEOPLE! And there were like 47 of them in the band. How can I not endorse it.





THINGS THIS BLOG DOES NOT ENDORSE

1. March
I'm over it, really. All of this "in like a lion, out like a lamb" bullshit is so gay. It was pushing 70 degrees last week and then with in a few days the skies were shitting sleet and snow. I'm sorry, but that is just not necessary, March! Why can't you be more like your more popular sister, April? From this moment on, I denounce March--I shall not recognize it as a month. Join in my crusade to end this disrespectful month, if we work together, I forsee the destruction and timely death of this awful month with in 10 days.



2. Best Buy
Clearly, if you've been keeping up I don't need to go into too much explanation. I'll give you the quick rundown and final developments.
I brought my busted computer in to be fixed by Best Buy's Geek Squad. 5 1/2 weeks later I get it back worse off than when I originally brought it in. Another 3 weeks follow trying to get in touch with a manager. Finally, this past week, I got a refund of the money I paid to have my computer "fixed." Huzzah....i guess...
All joking aside, this is literally the worst customer service I have experienced in my 24 years on this planet. Their blatant disregard for customer satisfaction was appalling and I whole heartily endorse a boycott of Best Buy. Do. Not. Go. There. If you have to, that's fine...but DO. NOT. USE. GEEKSQUAD. seriously. Lord knows I will never step foot in that store again (starting right after I use my $15 gift card they gave me for my troubles...)