A Couple Things...

A. A customer I talked to on the phone today was ordering tickets for some show but needed good seats because his wife, "is short; she's just a little bit taller than a midget. She's a real small lady."

So, I guess this woman isn't legally a midget. What is the cut off point for midgets? I think he mentioned she was 4'8". Poor gal. Does she miss out on all the benefits real midgets get? I wonder if she's allowed to drive a fancy midget car, or eat special midget food, or...I'm not quite sure what other fringe benefits being a midget gets you. It's so sad! Her whole life she has been on the outskirts of this special little club, peering into a world she feels a part of, but is horribly shunned from. And then her dick of a husband goes around calling her a "small lady." Excuse me sir, she is big on the inside!! I watched an episode of 'Little People, Big World" once! That is racist*.

B. Something else that is racist*: sunflower seeds.
I'm sorry, but whoever invented sunflower seeds as a 'snack' is an asshole. The amount of work it takes to pry open the (delightfully) salted shell to get to the actual food is way too much for what you get. It it were a math equation, it'd look something like this:

Energy + Amount of Taste = NEGATIVE ENJOYMENT

Okay...i don't think that's math, but you get the point.

Seriously, sunflower seeds were meant to be enjoyed by small birds, with small, agile beaks, not humans with clunky chompers. The only part of the process that is enjoyable is the flavoring of the shell, but that's all it is--flavoring! You can't eat just flavoring, that's not food! It's ridiculous to think that after all that cracking of the shell, taking it out of your mouth, getting saliva everywhere, prying small pieces of shell away--all you get is a tiny morsel of seed. No thank you.

*my definition of racist= something that's not right

Fire Drill

We just had a fire drill at work.

It consisted of us walking out into the hallway, standing there with our arms crossed and asking, "if this was a real fire, what is the next step?"

Then the elevator door opened and a man declared the fire drill was over.

I lead the applause.

My New Obsession

MIKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, so I had never heard of this guy until the other day when I was introduced to his album, Life In Cartoon Motion, and I can not stop listening to it. Seriously, It's been 2 days, and I've listened to it at least 5 times

This album is amazing and you must do what ever you can to get it. It sounds like a cross between Queen, Scissor Sisters, The Darkness, The Killers and a little piano-playin' Jamie Cullum thrown in for fun.

How fun is that???

The last song has a gospel choir in it! HELLO!?! If that doesn't make you run out and buy it, you have no inner black lady. There, I said it.

For a pop album that has all the fun fluff as well as more thought-out, richer music, look no further!

MI-KA!

Today, I was peed on

The title of this post pretty much says it all.

I was in CT at the restaurant my sister works at and I went to use the little boys room. I was peeing at the urinal when a man walks up to the urinal next to me. I hear him unzip and then all of a sudden I hear pee hit the floor next to my shoe and feel a little splash on my lower pant leg.
Who misses a urinal?? I mean, sure, when peeing into a toilet, you got at least 1-2 feet (depending on how tall you are and the size of your hooha) between you and the bowl. There is some skill involved. I have been known to miss the toilet on occasion, peeing a little bit on the side; no big deal. But a urinal? There is no aim involved. You could do it with out even holding your hooha if you were so inclined.

To all you ladies out there who have never peed in a urinal, there is literally no way you can miss. A urinal surrounds the entire area your pee could possibly go. Which leads me to believe (just right now, as I'm writing this) that it was intentional. I think this man purposely peed on me. Ugh. That's a kick in the balls.

I'm not a very confrontational person, so I didn't say anything to him...
Is that bad? Should I be embarrassed? I mean, at the time I thought it was just a bizarre accident, so what would it have accomplished if I had said, "umm...I think you just peed on me..." He would have said "sorry" and then there would be an uncomfortable silence while we finished peeing and, I'm sorry, I don't need any more awkward silences in my life. They are annoying and, well, uncomfortable.

I decided to let it go. Maybe being peed on, intentional or not, should be filed under things you don't "let go" but at this moment it was the best option. Judge me how you will.

I didn't say anything when I got back from the bathroom either. To be honest, I kind of forgot about it. Is that embarrassing? What does it mean that some stranger's urine trickled on my pant leg and I wasn't all that phased by it?

Upon reflection, the possible reactions I could have had:

1. Turned to look at him and said, "You just peed on me. (smile) I like that."
2. Shake my leg and say, "eeeeeewwwwwwww"
3. Slam my hand on the wall and grunt, "God damnit, that's the second time today"

All would have been entertaining and fun.

Ah well, next time I suppose!!!

hmm...

I just put up a picture of my roommate's cat in my cubicle.

True, this is the most adorable cat in the universe, however I am still scared at what this says about me and where I am in life.

I also set up a myspace page for him.....

again, not sure what that says